Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Remember the Maine

The proprietor of the rightist blog, Little Green Goof Footballs, is one of the fantasists who has opined that no secret CIA prisons ever existed and that former CIA agent Mary McCarthy is behind the decision to send Joe Wilson on a luxurious junket (for no pay, to an impoverished African country) simply to undercut our fearless leader's fears-restated-as-facts over Iraqi uranium. Jesus' General, God bless his Heterosexual soul, has pointed out that said individual -- aka He Who Must Not Be Linked -- has been pretending to support democracy, the rule of law (meaning the autocracy of Bush, but let's not quibble), and the American Way, while simultaneously advertising illegally-imported Cuban cigars on his website.

(A hypocritical rightie Republican who puts personal profit over principle? Who woulda thunk. With the recent shuffling in the White House, perhaps he can get a job at OMB.)

But some people have lost track of the argument (Democrats!), and have been sidetracked into snark about Cuban cigars, which are uniquely savory and delicious and make Dominican and Honduran plagiarists seem like the grocery-sack-paper cigarettes I pretended to smoke in Boy Scouts. In defense of cigars and Americanism, which are inextricably linked, the following is a comment I posted over at the General's which has NO RELEVANCE WHATSOEVER to the wars in Iraq or Iran (where we do have troops on the ground at this moment):

Sir:

I'm distraught that some are innuendoizing that cigars resemble male anatomical nunits. They are forgetting the sacrifices of the Spanish American War.

Good American trees died to convince the world that the Spanish in Cuba harbored (get it? the Maine, Havana, "harbored"?) malicious intent and posed a clear and present danger to the U.S., and though we won that war quickly, good American boys died by the thousands in the Phillipines suppressing the insurgency that arose there after the war. Why? In order to secure a steady source of good Cuban cigars for Mr. Hearst and the other brave corporatists of the day.

There are lessons to be learned there. To those here who would denigrate their sacrifice, I say: remember the Maine. Remember the lessons of a war which was manufactured by the press and then quietly sapped the vital juices from our nation's lymphatic system: to-wit, once you've conquered a good cigar-making nation, don't let the Commies take it away without a fight.

Respectfully and reportingly yours, sir,
BACK TO VICHYDEMS HOME

2 comments:

lucretia said...

Yeah, rememeber the Maine! Like remember Pearl Harbor! Like Never forget 9/11 (Bush quote). Unfortunately,three US pushes to war. In the case of Maine and 9/11, for conquest.

With the Maine we almost got Cuba, but that failed, so we carried on over to the Phillipines and got them.

America has to have a tidy goodness behind its conquests. We can't just say we want Cuba as part of the American hegemony because its good for us, like other nations say. The hyocrisy alone is enough to make one a Cuban Freedom Fighter, freedom from Uncle Sam with his unclean teeth!

I'm not sure what this particular post is about. But I do know the U.S. hasn't let off Cuba since Castro took over, and whatever Cuba could have been is a Carribbean nation unrealized. A little country like Cuba gets more and more dictatorial and can give less and less to the people in the way of social welfare because it has to stave off the avenging angel from taking over.

Witness what happened to Nicaragua. Same shit,only with Reagan's pius face.

This M.O. has been so over done: Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and now Iran. The Iranians are less controlled by the mullahs than former times, and their president is not going to go off his nut in a blaze of Jihad using an atomic missile now or later. Do we think these people are crazy? Or the same stupidity as right-wing religious zealots here?

I'm thoroughly tired of this reasoning, which is irrational bred by Bush/Rove propaganda through CNN and MSNBC, & Nightly News (forget Fox--enfant terrible!?

You know Cuba offered their excellent medical teams to help New Orleans and Bush refused, like he refused all offers, except Mexico didn't ask they sent in medical help and Gore sent a plane to get refugees at his own expense.

How about global trading and peace? Just for a change, let's take war off the table.

Thersites D. Scott said...

I'm not sure what this particular post is about.

Read your own comment; it's what this particular post actually IS about! Nicely done.