Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Scientific Proof: Republicans Really Are W.A.T.B.s*

We always knew it was true, and now there's proof, from a study in the Journal of Research Into Personality c/o the Washington Post:

"Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative," says the article. "At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals."

Delightfully, this gem comes from the Post's new far-right antidote to reality-based journalism, the 24-year-old Ben Domenech, who goes on to describe President Bush:

President Bush is just a real-life version of Dr. Strangelove's General Jack D. Ripper - blustering, impotent and murmuring about conspiracies to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids, just another spineless conservative wussyboy who has to prove he's a big brave man in cowboy boots.

OK, sure, Domenech is trying to parody liberal academics -- but, in the end, all he does is (a) confirm that the academics are probably correct about conservatives in general and Bush in particular; (b) give us some delicious new ways of describing Bush that we can now attribute to Domenech, deflecting any accusations that we're stooping too low in our rhetoric, and (c) personally acting in a way that suggests that he, Domenech, was a whiny kid in nursery school who always thought everyone was out to get him and was always running to the teacher with complaints. You know, like whiny complaints in major newspapers that the "teachers" are out to get conservatives like him.

I didn't have high hopes for Domenech, but I'm starting to think he may be fun to have around -- sort of an Alan Colmes for the left, only not as smart or assertive (/snark). We can only hope he consistently delivers this level of quality journamalism.

(* WATB= liberal blogspeak for "Whiny Ass Titty Babies" and used to describe those Republicans who, despite their current dominance of all branches of government, news media, and business, still complain of persecution and blame liberals (e.g. "the liberal media") for all their perceived problems. I think it originated on Eschaton.)

Update, March 22: Making Domenech look even more ridiculous (and transparent): while the rest of the Washington Post uses a Technorati link to highlight the main blogs discussing a given article without screening them for content, Domenech's new column only shows supportive, conservative blogs -- the right-wing echo chamber building a hermetically-sealed little cubbyhole and pretending it's really in a major newspaper. Ben? If you possess that fabled Republican courage, you'd let the web guys set up the normal Technorati link and let the chips fall where they may. It'd be a nice cross-reference to the reality-based community, and lot more fun for the rest of us, too.

Even funnier is Domenech's later post, A Comment About Comments. Why doesn't RedAmerica have comments? Because he's afraid we'd say nasty things, and he might get trolled. Unlike, say, every single liberal blogger who's ever had to deal with the scroll monster and other conservative basement-dwellers.

Update, March 23: The fun never ends. Domenech's latest Colbert-style satire of a right-wing columnist is discussed here.

Red America is just getting richer and richer. I may even blogroll it.