Friday, July 29, 2011

The Debt Ceiling Debacle, Explained in Popular Video

You've all been extraordinarily patient with my how-many-angels prognostications and general debt-ceiling wonkiness. And I understand that some people (timid, weak-minded souls, or without access to unlimited Valium) might consider the prospect of the collapse of the world's greatest democracy and the implosion of the global economic system to be A Bad Thing. So, I've decided you deserve a bit of cheering up.

Nearly all my recent, wonky posts on the D.C. debacle have contained links to video clips that help illustrate my points. Below, I've collated these clips (and a couple of new ones) into a sort of "tick tock" or "explainer" of the debt ceiling debate as it stands today. Enjoy! Learn! And don't tell the M.P.A.A.!

  • Barack Obama offers the Republicans everything they could ever want in a bill, so long as they also accept just one tiny little tax hike (that the Tea Party would rebel against). C'mon, just one little tax hike -- "It's wafer thin!" (originally in this post)
  • The G.O.P., which initially thought it was being clever by linking the debt ceiling to spending cuts, begins to realize that it has made a classic blunder. (originally in same post as previous)
  • The parties play chicken, racing each other to that August 2 deadline. As the cliff approaches, Boehner suddenly realizes both that his own caucus won't support his bill -- and also that maybe it wasn't such a great idea to buy that cool motorcycle jacket with the extraneous strap on the sleeve. (originally in this post)
  • With Boehner locked upstairs in his bedroom crying, serious Wall Street Republicans missing in action, and the Tea Party (lacking adult supervision) breaking into Boehner's liquor cabinet, jumping on the nation's couches and watching "GGW" on pay-per-view, the previously-unified House G.O.P. splinters into combative, ungovernable factions that can't agree on what bedtime should be, let alone on a plan to save America from default. ("Splitters!") (originally in this post)
  • But never fear: Arthur Jensen will now explain why, no matter how Boehner or the Tea Party squirm and squeal, the debt ceiling WILL be lifted and the markets WILL be saved. ("I have seen the face of God!") (originally in this post, from 2006)

So keep your chin up! I'm confident that even our dysfunctional government will muddle through somehow. Meanwhile,
don't panic! Instead, just remember to always look on the bright side of life.


No comments: